You leave my mind wandering in a deep, dark abyss. Thinking is this a figment of my imagination or does it truly exist? Many nights of lucid dreams have been lost between the war of reality vs. fiction, a war where I can no longer tell who wins. I am a prisoner to the thoughts and ideas that may or may not be real, I’m a writer that’s on the verge of being killed… by my own pen. I plead insanity for you have trapped me in a stygian place, my last hours have been haunted by a single card, the ace of spades. Also known as the card of death, so I kiss Mary Jane to stay high above the rest but in reality I’m six feet under at best. I fly, I run, I dive to get away but I can no longer swim, so I’ve been drowning for days, in a pool of UV mixed with Hennessy and a gallon of Louis the 13th. My eyes are blood shot red from sinking so deep but I must drink myself out of this mess before I can weep. A single tear rolls down my cheek… and for that one moment I’m finally at peace, then I get hit hard by reality and I can feel the pain start in my feet and slowly move up to my knees I’m so weak, I can barely walk and sooner or later I won’t be able to talk, so before I’m out of breathe, I have one question left. Man in the mirror, why have you caused my death?
Background: Chalice aka Nenwon Gbilia wrote this poem when he was in a dark place. He was going through a difficult depression at this time but opposed to taking it out on himself, he expressed his emotions through this poem which helped him regain his happiness by leaving those dark emotions on the paper. This poem ultimately helped him climb back to his regular self.
Photographer: Crystal Smith. Find more of her work at Cvpture Images